Pocket Wine Snob

i insist that we talk about this statement for a brief paragraph.

“rain does NOT equal hydrochloric acid.”

ponder this for a moment, please.

done pondering? ok. rain IS, however, water. it will make your car wet. it may make your hair frizzy. it might even make your mascara run. and you know what? i will laugh at 2 of these 3 “problems.” but i won’t hit you because of them.

back to the HCl thing. rain is NOT corrosive. it will NOT cause your car to dissolve at highway speeds. it will NOT melt your skin. it will NOT make you bald. but if you insist on going 30 mph in the fast lane on the biggest highway in the state of maryland because it’s raining? i. will. hit. you.

let’s discuss the whole rain-falling-down thing. it rains all the time all over the world. the rain thing? not a natural disaster. just nature being… nature. i assume pretty much everyone has taken a shower. showers are not scary, right? if the water from the shower makes you extra cautious to rinse and repeat, then i agree that you should drive extra cautiously as well. however, if like most americans, you take your shower in stride with the rest of your day, please, please, please consider rain the equivalent of just a really big shower, and drive with a little more common sense. otherwise, i consider you a threat. i understand that extra caution is required when a big metal machine moves on wet ground, but to drive 1/3 of the posted speed limit on a rainy day is dangerous to yourself and your fellow drivers. plus, it makes me angry, and that’s just ugly.

thanks for listening.